by Andrew P., age 13
I have learned to write! Since I have been listening in on your IEW classes, I have learned to form letters with a pencil and to write with style. I even know the topic-clincher rule, which I could recite, but that would be boring. During this letter I hope to enlighten you on all the magnificent and horrible things that you do to me. Needing to know why you leave me out in the frigid cold, I bark and cry until you return. I demand more food! Mainly I just want to tell you how much I love you.
Why must you leave me so often? You leave too much. Whining and moping, I implore you to not leave me anymore. Take me with you when you leave. Miserably, I howl lonesomely. In my solitude I can only talk to the other dry, disgusting, dull dogs, who live next door and are always barking up a storm. “You had better stop,” I tell them, but they never listen and continue like a noisy typewriter clicking away. When they begin to tell their boring stories, I fall asleep. Please don’t leave me anymore!
Let me put this simply. I need more food. It is outrageous. Stop it. Pouring my mouth-watering food into my bowl, you stop at three fourths of a cup, which is nowhere near enough. Is this not a bottomless, all-you-can-eat restaurant!? When I expeditiously finish my food, you don’t give me dessert. Surely, you can give me more treats when I finish my lunch. On the plus side, I adore my Kong. It has plenty of delicious treats. Please give me more food. Change your ways!
I love you so much. I can hardly put it into words. You are simply the best. Allow me to count the ways that I love you. Feeling you rub my belly, I always ponder about how lucky I am. When dad plays ball with me, I am crazy with pleasure. I always love it when you buy me new toys to destroy. Truly, I sincerely love you, Alpha Dog. In the pet store, a very exciting place with lots of areas to explore, I delight in selecting new treats. I love you more than unadorned words can express.
You guys are really awesome. Sometimes you do things that leave me heartbroken, but I will always love you. Wishing that you wouldn’t leave so much, I recognize that you have a life other than pampering me. However, it is not that much more work to provide me with more food, which is delicious and much more tasty than you would imagine while you are away. I am not asking that much of you in that respect. Truly, though, my love for you is unadulterated. Again I declare you are simply the greatest. I love you most in spite of all the trying things I walk through. I hope that I am able to write again to you in the future. For now, I love you.
Your most prized puppy,